The Tale of the Resume


The baby is growing so quickly.

The other day she stated that she feels she should be contributing to the household expenses and would like to get a job. Mostly because she is appalled at the conditions for babies in this house – no wipe-warmer, a stroller that was only 3 digits, hand-me-down clothes. She refuses to live like this any longer. She has been working on her resume (seen below).

She would like something in management as she feels that her experience with her parents lends itself to “giving others structured tasks and providing feedback” (note: she feels “barking orders” is not an apt description of her behaviour and takes offense at this suggestion). Should she be unable to find a place with an employer, she is willing to put her entrepreneurial spirit to the test with her own start-up.

Her top 3 ideas are:
1) Kissing Booth – provided she can find clientele who enjoy an open mouth being pressed to the cheek (with the occasional lick thrown in).
2) Human Vacuum – for a nominal fee she will crawl around your house and consume whatever she finds on the floor – edible or not.
3) Wardrobe Critic – her feedback is a simple Pass/Fail. No puking or snot smearing – you are good to go. Puke and/or snot – you might want to change.

Please respond in the comments if you’d like to contribute to the cost of one of the above start-ups: she is threatening to appear on Dragon’s Den. Or, let me know of any employers looking for the skills described here in her resume:


4 responses »

  1. Heather: What an amazing writer you are! You have managed to capture toddlerhood in such a creative way. You are providing such a blessed gift for your children to enjoy in the future, especially when they have kids of their own and can totally relate. 🙂 Mair

  2. Pingback: Your Favorite Blog Post | Stephen Brewster

  3. Pingback: The Tale of Career Aspirations « Tales of a Reluctant Mother

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